Day One

Actually, tomorrow will be the first full day of The Cecil Diet since we didn't do any exercise today other than walking through COSTCO and chasing children (partly on a bike). My theory, is that if we do it together, it will help with our commitment and the success of our project. Of course, we have different goals. My goal is to feel happy, both physically, and when I look in the mirror. M's goal is to get in shape and lower his cholesterol, which was alarmingly high at his recent physical.

Most of it we already do, sort of, most of the time. It's getting that to doing all of it, really, more than most of the time. M must decide whether to kick his Arnold Palmer (ice-tea/lemonade combo) and twice a day mocha habit. I need to cut out (again), the sugar in my coffee, the sugar (period!), and maintain portion control. I eat well for the most part and exercise 2-3 times per week, but I would like to eat better and exercise (even if it's a walk) every day. I will be working out 3x/week with Mer, and when we are home on weekends, going to a yoga class. I feel like I look okay (mostly), but I would like to feel more comfortable in bathing suits and the like. Not to mention when I am sitting or bent over and everything feels all crushed together.

Why tell you this, you ask?

Because, in my experience, telling people something makes it more real. And the more people you tell, the more of a commitment. At least, that's my plan. I have done it before, so I know I can do this. I am not that far off actually, I just need a little kick in the ass. I am starting to slide into feeling a little more comfortable at a bigger size, which is a slippery slope. I'm in decent shape overall, and I think if I were a little thinner I would be able to do even more physically and would be able to see more of the results of my effort. Right now, I am mainly developing muscle, which is great, but I need to either exercise more and or eat less/differently if I want to see a significant change.

In other news, we are busy readjusting to life after vacation. The kids did AMAZING on the plane ride home. Best ever. It was a really fun trip, and we did a lot more than we have in the past. We went to the Palm Springs Aerial Tram, The Living Dessert, The Children's Discovery Museum of palm Desert, Joshua Tree, the big pool, and a hike in our favorite local place. We even all went out to lunch at an old school deli. It was busy, but we definitely got some chill time, alone and as a family. There were golf cart rides, neighborhood walks, and even some naps! I can't wait to go back.

We are busy planning Sam's 7th birthday festivities. There will be some mellow stuff on his Birth Day (this Wednesday) and a trip to an indoor water park in White River Junction, VT, as well as a proper party, complete with bouncy house in the backyard, pizza and a cool cake.

It is one of those weeks where we have SOMETHING, almost every day. The Little Person has a hearing evaluation tomorrow (because at first I was annoyed and then concerned at what I hope is just a four year old not paying attention to me and asking me "What did you just say?" every five minutes); Sam has a dentist appointment and his seven year physical; there are the Birthday Festivities and probably a home visit with Sam's teachers. Oh, and there is Mer, kicking my ass at the gym three times this week, and M has a chiropractor appointment tomorrow.

We in the process of are planning a house renovation to expand the master bathroom, change the look of the house and redo the deck (because it is falling apart). My job is to start calling folks to discuss design ideas and get appropriate referrals. I sense we will need an architect as well as contractor, but that still needs to be determined. As an aside, M is looking into applying to the show This Old House to help us in this endeavor. We are not looking to save money so much as we feel like those guys are experts who do a great job, are from our area, and have access to fantastic resources. Saving money and adding some "green features," would be a bonus.

Also, the vegetable garden needs to be planted, and we need to pick out some perennials, bushes and a tree or two for the front yard. Going to the nursery for flowers and plants in the spring is sort of a Mother's Day tradition for my Dad and I that started when Sam is born. It always makes me happy. When the Sam was a baby, and we lived in Alaska, my dad would go to the nursery there and pick stuff out for me, and plant it. Now that I am in a better place, I enjoy going with him. Sometimes we get crazy and bring The Little Person.

That weekend, Sam and I are doing the NECC walk, which is an fundraising walk that benefits the New England Center for Children, which coordinates with our town to run Sam's program (for kids with autism spectrum disorders) in the public school. I did it alone last year, to scope it out, and I think Sam can handle it. Of course, I am bringing Babysitter Extraordinaire for help and moral support as well as good conversation. We will be on a team from our town, comprised of families, staff at the program, and friends. That's also the same day as Sam's birthday party. The other half of our family will come out for the walk if they can make it after soccer practice. It is a lot, considering The Little Person has another birthday party that day, and Mother's Day is the day after, but it was the best way to get all of our parents there. My plan on Mother's Day is to ditch my family and hang out with both the Mom's for the day. I imagine there will be some shopping and a good lunch involved. Maybe a spa treatment if I am lucky.

As The Little Person Says, "Is that it?" And the answer is YES. For now.

Safe At Home

I just wandered around the house for 15 minutes looking for my coffee, if that is any indication of things around here. It was so hot last night that I couldn't sleep, so about 12:30AM I went down to the basement where it was much cooler. I think I dozed for a while, but then something woke me, and I couldn't stop thinking of Sam's impending oral surgery. I watched TV for a while, and then Sam woke up at 4. At 5 I let Sam out and M got up while I went back to bed until 8. Sam was NPO (nothing to eat or drink) after midnight Wednesday, so we emptied the snack drawer and hid the hot dogs in the pantry under lock and key. Babysitter Extraordinaire (BE) had made a couple of batches of jello for Sam, so he ate some of that along with some watered down apple juice. We didn't send Sam to school today, so after The Little Person went to school we three just hung out for a while and got our stuff together.

The worst part was the wait, we had to wait in various places for about an hour and a half at the hospital. Also, parking was free, which would have been great if there had been any. Sam looked really cute in the hospital gown, and Matt and I wore gowns over our clothes so we could go in with him while they sedated him. Aside from being asked the EXACT same questions at least 5 times, the staff couldn't have been nicer or more accommodating. Once they started the sedation (a tube they wave in the vicinity of your mouth), it was only a minute or two before he was out. Then they put the mask on and voila! We were told it would be over an hour, and they don't want you to eat in the waiting room (because of the kids who can't eat before surgery), so we went down to the cafeteria and ended up at an outside table and chairs. We wiled away an hour playing on our laptop and blackberries and sharing some french fries and then headed back. As we sat down in the waiting room someone was coming to get us to let us know Sam was awake!

This was the worst part. When we got there he was struggling and crying against the tubes and wires and bandages, and there was dried blood on his face by his nose. He was also missing his two front teeth! In total he had three teeth pulled (the two front and a molar) and one cavity filled. They also put a sealant on all of his teeth. He was very agitated and after they had checked his vitals and given him some apple juice they said we could take him home. M went to get the car, and I waited with the struggling child. Then we walked him (I ended up carrying him) to the car and entrance where M was waiting. Once he got in the car, he was fine, totally calm, if not a little confused. He passed out soon after and slept most of the way home. At home he got on the couch with a blanket and relaxed to Spongebob. He and I snuggled for a while, and M went to pick up The Little Person from the babysitters.

That was about 2 hours ago, and he's already been outside since then and is now swinging in the basement and playing on the computer. Ah, the healing of a little boy! Unfortunately, he can't eat whatever he wants yet (clear liquids till dinner, and then chicken noodle soup, and soft solids tomorrow) and can't go to school tomorrow, but other than that, (and us being tired from a combination of early wake-up and anxiety over the unknown) we are doing great and the worst is definitely over. The Small People are both coughing intermittently and due to parental exhaustion I think the TV will be on for a while to ease the parenting duties. Hopefully, Sam will sleep well and easy tonight. One can always dream...

Tired when I sleep

Today was my day to sleep and I almost feel more tired. Go figure. Pretty good weekend, though I'm not sure exactly what we did. I do remember fries and shakes (shamrock for me) at McDonald's and then not being able to eat dinner. It was so worth it. Today Sam had swimming. The problem with swimming is mostly the time. It is at 3:15PM, and he gets home at 3PM. It takes a good 20 minutes to get to the YMCA, so we are always late. But, if I pick him up at school, which is out near the Y, we will be too early, which is also a problem. The lesson is a private lesson, so it is more expensive, and it is only a half hour, so being late cuts into an already short lesson. So today it was beautiful out, and I though, maybe I can pick him up early (I think school technically ends at 2:50PM), and let him play on the playground for 10 minutes and then go to the lesson and be on time. I called his teacher and arranged to meet them at the back door by the playground at 2:45PM, to avoid some of the end of school chaos. It seemed like a great plan and I was pretty proud of myself for thinking of something that made it easier for both of us.

This is where the plan fell apart. Murphy's Law. I arranged to meet a friend (massage therapist extraordinaire) at the farm-stand less then 2 minutes from Sam's elementary school. They have great sandwiches and a great outdoor space, so we could sit outside. Plus it was near Sam's school and the highway, so said friend could hop on and get to work in Boston. Alas, the place was closed on Mondays this time of year. So we had to regroup from my original perfect plan. We decided to head to a coffee shop in the center of town with outdoor seating as well. It cut into our time slightly, but not too badly. So we get there, and decide to have dessert for lunch with our coffee. We get a selection of sweets and find a sunny table outside. Life is good. Then I get a text from Sam's swimming instructor. I have been waiting to hear from her since last Monday. She is sick, and needs to reschedule. Great. I have already arranged to pick Sam up, so I still will, but hopefully he is not too excited about swimming. I will let him play at the school playground for a bit if he wants, but otherwise will go home. This all takes place an hour before the lesson. I can see how if you are sweet and nice and nineteen (?), it seems reasonable to cancel within a few hours of an appointment. But kids get used to routines, especially kids with autism, and change is difficult. Fortunately, Sam was fine with going home, and lovely lunch continued without (another) hitch. Such is life.

What not to do when you see a parent with an autistic/developmentally disabled child in public

1. Involve them in long conversation while said child is screaming, struggling or wandering off. We are trying to pay attention and not appear rude while also making sure the child is not running off into danger.


2. After saying "hello" to child, make repeated attempts to engage a child that is obviously unable or unwilling. This only stresses the parent out further.
   
3. Insist that the child follow rules that he/she cannot follow (get in line!). Most likely the parent is doing the best they can and unless they or someone else is in danger, that is their job, not yours.
   
4. Compare your typical child to a child with a developmental delay (My child does the same thing...). Your experience is not the same. Our whole world is about an experience that is unlike everyone elses. This does not mean you cannot sympathize. Quiet companionship, or "How can I help?" is most appreciated.
   
5. Offer unsolicited advice. It is okay to ask questions, but remember that the subject is very personal for us. Be gentle and respectful.
   
6. Judge us. Not until you've walked a thousand miles in our shoes.

* Now that I can finally sit down and write this...I seem to be forgetting the good ones. I'll add as I think of them...