Mr Ed's Farm

The Little Person

"Orca seals!"

"I used to have two Daddies. Then one grew up and became my Grandpa."

"If little bunny foo foo doesn't listen, then I will turn into a goon."

"No-possums. You got that Mom?"

"Do you know the Barbie cake, Mom? My Grandpa had one of those."

"I'm so cited for camp, Mom."

"How come you say mm hmm all the time Mom?"

These are some examples of things The little Person has said recently. I always say I'm going to write them down, and I even reserved a notebook for the little tidbits. But besides the one time I remembered to write it down, we mostly pass on his Little Person-isms by telling them to the people we think will care. Like The Grandparents, and Babysitter Extraordinaire, and Lovely Neighbor. So, I thought i would share some with you to keep them for posterity. I'd like to think I will keep sharing them, but the reality is probably slim. It's the thought that counts, right?

Both the kids have been really fun lately, but there is a behavior we are trying to curb with The Little Person. Lying. It takes three forms:

1. Lying because he thinks we will be mad that he did or didn't do something.
2. Lying because he thinks what we will do will hurt and he is scared.
3. Telling stories about his "Grandpa." This would be cute except when asked he says he's talking about my grandfather or M's Dad, both of whom have passed away. It's kind of cute in that he imagines a relationship with them. His Grandpa is like an imaginary friend who lets him do anything, and does anything with and buys anything for him. Lot's of it doesn't make a lot of sense literally, but shows a lot of imagination.

Also, there are issues with "being first" and "winning." I'm not sure how to deal with this, though another mom says they frame it in terms of sportsmanship. I also remind him that if he doesn't share/always has to win/be first, other kids aren't going to want to play with him. And the piece de resistance...it's not nice! Works every time.

Did I mention his imaginary friend, Dante?

Birds and farm animals, or Autistic kids LOVE horses.

Last weekend, (God, I sound like The Little Person. Everything to him is last weekend...) M and I took the boys to an open house at Mr. Ed's farm with my Dad (Poppa). Pop and Mr. Ed are friends through their daily visits to Dunkin Donuts, so we knew all about the preparations. We missed it last year, but since we were around, and we had my Dad, we decided to all go, but in two cars, in case someone had to leave quickly with Sam. The Little Person and I and sometime Pop, go semi-frequently to Mr. Ed's farm. He boards horses and dogs, and has some cows and two donkeys. We haven't taken Sam in a while because he is fairly disinterested in farm animals (until recently), and he hates horses in a freaks out and makes loud noises kind of way. But he had done a couple of zoo and farm with petting zoo field trips with school this summer, and seemed to be more interested in animals in general. He already loves birds and enjoys going to see the chickens, turkeys and ducks at The Sheep Pasture. So we went, armed with our get-away plan, not expecting to stay long.

Apparently, Mr. ed is part of the Norfolk County Farmer's Association, and the events were a product of the Association, with participation from the local 4-H and other individuals. It ended up being fantastic. The farm is small, and in the barn that normally acts as a kennel for the dogs, were all the 4-H animals. The boys had a blast, scooting around looking at and touching the animals, as well as feeding them with feed supplied by the 4-H club. We got to pet chickens, a bunny and a baby goat who was still little he fit through the bars of the gate. So it started off well, but then it went beyond our wildest dreams. We went out of the barn to go see other animals, and there was a popcorn machine, hot dogs, and ice cream from the local dairy farm, all free! Popcorn and hot dogs are like food groups to both my kids, so that was a bonus. Mr. Ed even had cowboy hats for all the kids and sheriff's badges. We went back to check out the horses and they were giving rides around the ring. We expected Sam would not be into it, but The Little Person ran right up, and then Sam seemed upset that he couldn't go. Still figuring he wouldn't actually get on a horse, he and I went into the barn to see some of the other horses and he was really into it. So we came back out and he had to WAIT his turn. But he did it, got on the horse like a pro and went around the ring like he's been doing it all of his life, with this zen smile on his face. Later, after hot dogs, popcorn, lemonade and water we came back for round two. Then we made a our getaway, going while everything was still good. After two turns, I guess they were right. Apparently autistic kids do like horses.

This morning, Pop came to take The Little Person for breakfast, which they do every Sunday. My dad would love to take Sam too, but he doesn't really like many breakfast type foods, preferring pizza and spaghetti. But he saw my Dad and started pointing at him and using the iPod to say that he wanted to see farm animals! So while those two were at breakfast, we three headed for the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru for chocolate donuts and then to The Sheep Pasture. Kid was happy as a clam. We even saw ponies and sheep. Since being home, he has been in and out of the pool. He has been calmer since I've been down here with him, but seems to be getting revved up again. He is in his sleeping bag watching Peep and The Big Wide World. Maybe he needs company. Peace out.

Getting old

As I write this Sam is screaming on and off. For no apparent reason. He does this sometimes and it gets to me. Not sure if it's the helpless feeling of him being upset and me not knowing why or how to fix it, or the part of me that feels annoyed and wants him to just stop. So I decided maybe he just wanted someone to hang out with, and I am sitting on the couch downstairs while he is on the computer next to me. Sometimes proximity helps. Both of us.

As an aside, but also the point of this post, I feel as if my body is falling apart. In addition to my intermittent stomach issues (fine today, thanks for asking), I now have gross feet. I think they are plantar warts, and I have had them in some capacity for a while. They did go away at one point, but they are back, and no amount of over the counter medicine, or freezing them, has made much of a difference. And, worse even, is that seem to be spreading. They don't hurt as much as they are unsightly, and I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I touch them. I used to have really nice feet, and now I have the kind of feet that used to gross me out on other people. I even went through a period of time when I couldn't have other people's feet touch me. M has some foot issues that I have wanted him to take care of for a while (he has, with over the counter, but not anything in prescription form), issues that are different from mine, and sadly now, not as bad.

Even my Mom is grossed out by my feet and thinks i should just go to the podiatrist. But, it's not that simple. For one thing, I have a couple that are in places other than the bottom of my feet. One on the top of my foot. And one on my hand. I'm embarrassed to tell you that, because now you may not want to shake my hand when you meet me. It's okay, I'm not much of a hand shaker anyway. So the first problem is that I may have more than one kind. Plantar warts only occur on the bottom of your feet. Which means that the podiatrist couldn't deal with the one on my hand. Plus, the additional locations may be the purview of a dermatologist. Secondly, I think I now have to get referrals for doctors not in the group of my primary. And my primary is in Boston, and I don't feel like going for an appointment in Boston, just to get a referral to someone else, since I have already gone to her for multiple fruitless freezings. Also, I haven't been to her for a while, so I'm not sure if she would give me a referral without seeing her now. And it would mean possibly going to two different doctors. I feel exhausted just talking about it. And it's just for my feet! well, mostly. I could try to go to someone in the group, but the ones that are either close by or recommended (by Mom and Babysitter Extraordinaire) are not in the group. So it would be going to someone I didn't know and didn't have any information about.So, I haven't gone and I haven't called. I might just swing by the podiatrist by my gym and self pay. It's sooooo convenient, and more likely to happen sooner.

Plus, I feel like if I deal with my feet, I shouldn't ignore my stomach. And that would be another appointment. In Boston. And switching my gastroenterologist is not an option. I like her and I'm comfortable. I could email her, but she'll tell me to come in. maybe it will all just go away.

And then, there are the kids. They are up to date on their shots and yearly physicals, but there are some appointments with specialists I have been considering. And they both probably need dentist appointments. Maybe after school starts I'll be able to deal.

On another note

Before I go, I just want to mention that I have been thinking about shoes. A lot. More later.

On my mind

The other day I did some shopping at some yoga style clothing stores and though I found some things, I was not happy with the sizes I fit into. My body image is a complicated thing that I'm not really comfortable with. I want to be thin and athletic, but I think women should be comfortable with what they look like. I don't want to be obsessed with food, but I don't want to be fat. It disturbs me that my views are somewhat contradictory. I know I could be more fit if I made some sacrifices, but i'm not sure if I don't take that extra step because I am healthy (mentally and physically) or just lazy and deluded. I struggle between wanting women (including myself) to be comfortable with their bodies and not obsessed with weight/food and my concern over the growing amount of extremely overweight people and wonder whether I should be more comfortable with what I look at or whether I need to do something about it.

Sometimes in the morning, when I get up with Sam, and it's really early, I actually pray that he will go back to sleep. And I never pray, so it seems either hypocritical or pathetic. And since it's not something I believe in, I don't think it's going to work. But I do it anyway. I have never told anyone that.

I have ulcerative colitis, which I was diagnosed with after The Little Person was born. Somehow I never recovered from just giving birth, and just got sicker, ending with a sixteen day stint in the hospital. It was kind of rocky for a while, but I have been fairly healthy since we have moved back east. I occasionally get flare ups, and I no longer try to run outside (no bathrooms), but for the most part I am symptom free. Or at least I was until a few weeks ago. I am still not even close to the state that put me in the hospital, but it has screwed up my plans a little lately. Even after I cut out coffee. Carbs are my friend right now, and I always have a stash of graham crackers or saltines. I haven't had peanut butter in a while, and I just started to phase coffee back in. Absolutely no dairy, red meat, beans, or tofu. I don't mind that part really, but I am a little pissed off at having to ditch out half way on a kayaking trip; making an emergency dash into the CVS bathroom; ditching into the woods at Walden Pond and in Nantucket; as well as planning a walk with my neighbor to go past my parents' house, in case I had to go to the bathroom (I did). I even had to cut out part way through a work out last week. Oh, did I mention I can't eat most granola bars? I upped my meds and altered my diet. The best solution I have found is to stop eating for a while. So it's not really a good time for me to increase my exercise or limit my carbs.

I have some things to say about The Little Person, as well as Sammy Noodles and our house, but it's close to bedtime and small people want my attention and the Tiger Balm on my neck feels weird.

I'm just sayin...