Getting old

As I write this Sam is screaming on and off. For no apparent reason. He does this sometimes and it gets to me. Not sure if it's the helpless feeling of him being upset and me not knowing why or how to fix it, or the part of me that feels annoyed and wants him to just stop. So I decided maybe he just wanted someone to hang out with, and I am sitting on the couch downstairs while he is on the computer next to me. Sometimes proximity helps. Both of us.

As an aside, but also the point of this post, I feel as if my body is falling apart. In addition to my intermittent stomach issues (fine today, thanks for asking), I now have gross feet. I think they are plantar warts, and I have had them in some capacity for a while. They did go away at one point, but they are back, and no amount of over the counter medicine, or freezing them, has made much of a difference. And, worse even, is that seem to be spreading. They don't hurt as much as they are unsightly, and I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I touch them. I used to have really nice feet, and now I have the kind of feet that used to gross me out on other people. I even went through a period of time when I couldn't have other people's feet touch me. M has some foot issues that I have wanted him to take care of for a while (he has, with over the counter, but not anything in prescription form), issues that are different from mine, and sadly now, not as bad.

Even my Mom is grossed out by my feet and thinks i should just go to the podiatrist. But, it's not that simple. For one thing, I have a couple that are in places other than the bottom of my feet. One on the top of my foot. And one on my hand. I'm embarrassed to tell you that, because now you may not want to shake my hand when you meet me. It's okay, I'm not much of a hand shaker anyway. So the first problem is that I may have more than one kind. Plantar warts only occur on the bottom of your feet. Which means that the podiatrist couldn't deal with the one on my hand. Plus, the additional locations may be the purview of a dermatologist. Secondly, I think I now have to get referrals for doctors not in the group of my primary. And my primary is in Boston, and I don't feel like going for an appointment in Boston, just to get a referral to someone else, since I have already gone to her for multiple fruitless freezings. Also, I haven't been to her for a while, so I'm not sure if she would give me a referral without seeing her now. And it would mean possibly going to two different doctors. I feel exhausted just talking about it. And it's just for my feet! well, mostly. I could try to go to someone in the group, but the ones that are either close by or recommended (by Mom and Babysitter Extraordinaire) are not in the group. So it would be going to someone I didn't know and didn't have any information about.So, I haven't gone and I haven't called. I might just swing by the podiatrist by my gym and self pay. It's sooooo convenient, and more likely to happen sooner.

Plus, I feel like if I deal with my feet, I shouldn't ignore my stomach. And that would be another appointment. In Boston. And switching my gastroenterologist is not an option. I like her and I'm comfortable. I could email her, but she'll tell me to come in. maybe it will all just go away.

And then, there are the kids. They are up to date on their shots and yearly physicals, but there are some appointments with specialists I have been considering. And they both probably need dentist appointments. Maybe after school starts I'll be able to deal.