He is so different

When I started this blog, I was looking for a space to share my feelings about living with my autistic son. I soon evolved into discussing his younger brother, and other things that interested me, but living with and parenting a child with a developmental disability was still the focus. When I look back, even a year ago, I am amazed at the change, in my son, my family and my life.

What has changed? (How big?) So much (So big!) ! Sam is still autistic, but he is older, and with his growth and accomplishments have come change for all of us. For example, when we moved here almost three years ago, we installed a fence around our yard and codelocks on both sides of all of the doors, for security. And by security, I meant the peace of mind of knowing that Sam could not escape and get hurt. Fast forward three years. Yesterday I sat in a beach chair in my driveway playing a game on my phone while Sam scootered up and down our street by himself. He can now get a professional haircut; go for a hike/walk that is not a loop and that he has not done before (we did a 5k as a family to benefit his school last weekend); got to the grocery store and help with the shopping and carrying the bags and putting food away; READ OUT LOUD (this one still blows me away); speak, in a voice that gets clearer all the time; write somewhat legibly; help me bake a cake (which we did today); find ANYTHING on the internet by typing into a search engine (Nazi teletubbies, yay!); swim underwater; ride a bike without training wheels; take a shower; and give the people he loves hugs and kisses at appropriate times.

I finally feel like I have a real relationship with my son. I enjoy being with him, and I no longer dread the weekends or times when he doesn't have school. We are able to go places as a family, hiking,swimming and snowshoeing in Vermont, vacationing near the beach on Cape Cod, things I truly never thought we would ever be able to do. He is a fantastic traveller. Apparently all of those years going to and from Alaska and the East Coast (and Southern California) really paid off. He enjoys spending time with friends and family, especially his grandparents, brother, and babysitters. He understands and enjoys birthday parties and holiday gift giving, and his first real party this year with classmates and friends when he turned eight last month. He is a beautiful, smart, happy, healthy boy and we are so proud of him for all the work he does eery day. It is not easy to be Sam, but he beings joy to everyone who knows him. In spite of his limited speech, he is beloved by teachers and classmates alike.

And the talking, oh the talking! There is not much I like more than to hear my sweet boy's voice. He reads a book aloud every night to me. He is affectionate, and loves animals, particularly poultry and horses. He still gets up between 4-5:30AM, so we are looking forward to him feeding the chickens when we move to our farm house.

As for the rest of us, we are all settled into our new life. Max is obsessed with Star Wars and legos and anything interrelated, takes karate, and has also learned how to swim. He has made some good friends, and is thriving in school and at home. Matt has been very busy at our new house working in the barn and building a beautiful workshop. We have secured our first permit, and demo begins this week. We have no idea how long the renovation will take, but the sooner we start the sooner it will be done! Big plans for the summer include horseback riding for Sam, camp for Max, and a few big trips: to Alaska (me and Max), Europe (just the grown-ups for our tenth wedding anniversary) and a family vacation at the beach.

That's not to say that everything is always hunky dory. Being five has been as challenging for us as it has been for Max, and we are always working on the blood sugar/behavior balance (more food at key times equals better behavior). Max will continue to receive some support with fine motor skills in kindergarten next year, and apparently he is sensitive, just like his mama.

Sam has good days, great days, and days where he struggles, but the progression is still strongly forward, and he has a lot of people rooting for him. Matt and I have made some great new friends, and enjoy seeing our old friends now that we are baclk in the lower forty-eight. Also, we have managed to stay in touch with some current and former Alaskan friends, which helps to keep us grounded. The future looks bright for all of us. I am also thankful for wine and happy meds.