Ways in which my children drive me crazy...as opposed to ways in which the internet drives me crazy

1. The constant talking. And I don't mean the autistic one. Geez Louise, I can't even hear myself think through the CONSTANT TALKING.

2. The lack of volume control. And I do mean both of the children. The autistic one, because when he wakes me up at an ungodly hour and I finally let him out of his room and give him access to the computer, actually TURNS UP THE VOLUME, interrupting my pretend nap on the couch.

3. Hot dogs for breakfast. Added to that is spaghetti with meat sauce for breakfast, and any non breakfast item that makes me want to vomit.

4. Whining. Goes along with the incessant talking and lack of volume control. FYI, you don't need to be verbal to whine.

5. Not listening to said parental figures. Applies to autistic and typical child. WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

6. Waking at the crack of dawn. See number 2.

7. Hitting living beings and throwing toys. I DON'T HIT YOU (often). And, GO TO YOUR ROOM! But Mom, I'm sorry! Good! And when I catch you...

8. Doing the opposite of what I say. SERIOUSLY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? But Mom, I'm sorry! I BET YOU ARE!

9. I am running out of material. See items 1-8 and expand...

10. And the number 10 thing about my children that pushes me around the bend...well, I'm going to have to think about that. They are awful cute, don't ya know? The reason they are still alive. That and my high tolerance for stress. NOT!