Part Deux

So, the swimming. Let me set the scene.Sam has been taking private swimming lessons for a year and a half. First we went to the JCC, which had an Adaptive Aquatics program, so the instructor(s) had some experience woking with kids with autism. We were fortunate to get Tony, who was fantastic. The first thing Tony did was kick me out of the pool area. I would go upstairs and watch through a window whilst sitting and reading. It became my favorite part of the week. The going was a little stressful, since I picked Sam up at school (15 minutes away from our house) and then drove to the JCC (20 minutes from Sam's school). I would bring snacks, and he would chill and in the early days, sometimes fall asleep on the way. So the driving was about almost an hour all told. Then there was walking into the JCC, checking in at the front desk with my squirming child, and taking him down to the family locker room to get him dressed. It was all good unless we were early, or Tony was busy.

The good and bad was that Tony was the Aquatics Director, and so he sometimes had to cover for other staff. But all in all, we were happy. Tony works somewhere else in the summertime, so we had Lucinda last summer, and though we were concerned at first (and missed Tony, who SAM was used to), she ended up being great. Very calm. Both of them had oodles of experience with kids on the spectrum. Then the JCC became the YMCA, which changed things. The Adapted Aquatics Program was a JCC program, so they were now running the program from outside the building and had less control. The available times became much more limited and were mostly on weekends, when we go away a lot. So we took a break and eventually signed both kids up as members at another YMCA nearby. The plan was to have L take Sam swimming on Sundays, but it took us a while to set that up, and then it didn't work out so great. L was into it, but the slide at the pool was a problem (Sam would have to wait in line) and the young lifeguards on the weekends were not accommodating to a kid on the spectrum, mostly due to inexperience. We talked with the administration at the Y, and they were receptive, saying that they just hadn't been able to effectively train all of their staff, and perhaps we could try a weekday. So I looked into private lessons, and though their Adaptive Aquatics program had been going on for less time and seemed less organized than the JCC, they had just hired someone with experience and were eager to work with us. That was the first instructor, who's experience ended up being with a child with cerebral palsy, but she was very nice and eager to work with Sam.

M ended up teaching Sam swimming for about a month or so. Then we signed him up for the next session, assuming it would be with her again. Apparently, M switched her days, and they were planning to switch instructors. I told the Aquatics Director that we would prefer to stay with the same person, and so WE switched days. The first day we showed up as M was leaving, apparently she didn't know she had to teach even though I had confirmed it with The Director that day. She was very gracious about staying and teaching Sam. I gave her my number and she said she would text me regarding the next week and the time (I had asked if she could do it 10 minutes later so we wouldn't be late). I may have written about this previously, but I arranged to pick Sam up at school and play on the school's playground for 10 minutes so we wouldn't be too early. M texted me an hour before the lesson to say she was sick and could we reschedule. So I picked him up anyway, and he was fine about going home.

She texted me during the week to see what days would wok for us, and we decided to just make it up at the end of the session. Then this week we showed up and...there was a new instructor. A is her name. She said that M had a health issue or emergency and they had to take her off the roster. I was dumbstruck, as I couldn't believe that The Director wouldn't call to let me know it was going to be a new person. I asked about A's experience working with kids with special needs and autism. She said 16 years. Great! I gave her a little information on Sam, ie: he's non verbal but understands a lot, he will test you until he knows you, he knows some signs, he can swim etc...and I went to sit in the lobby (it is so hot by the pool you could die. The air is suffocating, but the pool is often freezing. Go figure). I am sitting watching through the glass in the lobby and reading a magazine when A comes to the window and mimes like she needs help. I should back up and say that I already noticed that she had no control over Sam, and I had already seen him get out of the pool walk past two lanes and jump off a platform over a few other kids. I RUN around to the family locker room and out to the pool. Turns out Sam was crying and pulling his bathing suit down, signing help. Guess what? He had to go to the bathroom. Also, she scratched him with her fingernail by accident when he was getting out of or into the pool, so there is a nice red scratch up his side. I take him to the bathroom, come out and she apologizes, says he was all over the place and not listening to her and do I want to continue the lesson (there are about 5 minutes left at this point)? I say I think we are good for today, and leave to comfort my child, who is still crying. I feel like at best, she was totally unqualified to be teaching him. I also decided we were done with Sam at the Y. I emailed The Director that night and told her what had happened, why I was unhappy and that I would like a refund on Sam's lesson and the rest of his year membership.

The next day I got two emailed apologies, one from The Director, and one from A. Both were very nice, and honestly hoped that we would try again. By that time, I had already called a different place and spoken to someone about a different placement for Sam. I had been furious, but I was never sad. This was a difference for me. Whereas before, I would have been embarrassed, defeated, wrecked by this type of situation, I was instead just mad and concerned about my child. It wasn't his fault that she didn't understand he needed to go to the bathroom, that he got scratched, and that the instructor was unprepared and inexperienced. It was not his fault that the instructor had changed with no notice. I did what I needed to do For My Child. As it turns out, we will get the refunds we asked for, and Sam will get to swim. I am even thinking of checking out Special Olympics as a after school activity.

I am feeling so much better about my life with Sam. He is my special boy and I cannot wait to see what he can do! And, life keeps going. There is always something new to deal with. Today we went to a special Speech Therapy appointment at Children's Hospital in a department that specializes in Augmented Communication. We confirmed the appointment yesterday, mostly to make sure the insurance authorization had been obtained. I picked Sam and his teacher up at school and drove the thirty minutes to the appointment. When we got there, all prepared with our device, computer, iPod and snacks, we found that there had been a mix-up, and someone had scheduled us in a time slot that should have been blocked. The Speech Therapist was not even on site, and could we come back in two hours?

Therein lies a whole nother post. Till next time, my dear friends.