Post vacay recovery

Just got back from vacation in California last night. We had a great time, although the flying was exhausting despite the kids being awesome. It is SO much easier now to travel with the boys. No longer the anxiety producing nightmare it used to be, and no more packing tons of stuff to take with on the plane. Both kids take their backpacks with some books, snacks, and toys, and M takes the iPod, ipad and DVD player. And headphones. I take my kindle, purse and some magazines. We sat in the Samsung area at the Dallas airport, with comfy mod leather seats, dimmer lighting, and lots of plugs. Also right next to Starbucks.

Kids did a lot of climbing around at Joshua Tree, swam in the pool and Sam went for bike rides on his two wheeler! Everyone went for rides on the golf cart, and we saw all the African animals at The Living Desert, along with the sickest model train set-up I have ever seen. M and I went on a date to Okura, our favorite sushi place, and a nice lunch at the clubhouse out by the pond looking out at the mountains and desert. The kids were so good at the pool I slipped in the hot tub while we were there. My parents friends were lovely and welcoming for Thanksgiving, as usual, and as usual we stayed longer than I thought.

It's nice to be home, as the day before we left we closed on our new farmhouse. It's from 1730, has a barn, almost three acres and is around the corner from our current house in another world sort of way. Today was the first day we got to take the kids over to run around. They were totally out of control, but fortunately we have some work to do on the house, so they'll have time to get used to it. Dreams of chickens and large gardens dancing in my head. Jet lag recovery is going well, and will be even better tomorrow when the kids go back to school. Hanukkah is around the corner, and Christmas soon after, so the Christmukkah shopping will begin shortly.

Waiting for Lovely Neighbors to bring dinner for our Sunday night ritual. Remind me to tell you about LB's birthday party coming up in a few weeks...

Death

Do you think that you tend to know more people who die as you get older? Is it because we are older (and old people die more), or because as the years go by we collectively know more people, and therefore the stats are against us? We've had a few deaths lately, both unexpected, several deaths of family members in the last year, and more of both in the last few years. It's always unsettling to know or know of someone who dies. Just like an illness or other extremely stressful situation, you think of the family a lot, and in my case, think of your family a lot. Since the two most recent deaths were both unexpected, I find myself pondering the possibility of it happening to my immediate family. I have been thinking of this on and off since M's dad passed away, and my anxiety about it comes and goes. M seems relatively healthy, but so did the other people who died recently. Plus, accidents happen. I've also been thinking of this in light of a new project M and I have taken on (more on this later), and how hard it would be to do it on my own.

As an aside, we are having a nice weekend in Vermont. The weather is cool and crisp, and at times even sunny, though the leaves are all but gone. We took a couple of nice walks today by The Farmhouse, and had lunch at The Brewery with the kids. The best chicken wings I have ever had in my life. Worth the (so hungry!) forty-five minute wait. We'll probably hang around and meander back in time for Indian food with Lovely (former) Neighbors. Then M leaves to help his mom pack and move to her new house and I am ALONE WITH THE KIDS. Time to hunker down and only get the minimum done. In my case, that means nothing much beyond getting the kids dressed and ready for school, packing lunches, hanging out after school and being present for home visits, providing snacks and dinner and putting them to bed. And did I forget to mention, GETTING UP AT FOUR AM WITH SAM? Like I said, not much will get accomplished besides the necessities. Wish me luck!

In which I get all mushy about my kids and Halloween

There are a lot of things that are hard about having kids. Sleepless nights (or years for that matter), potty training, huge meltdowns, and more sleep deprivation. Actually, looking back, most of the stress of having your kids be little seems to be (for me at least), just this feeling of not being yourself. From sharing your body (the constancy of feeding and holding a baby delightful and then the constant carrying of a toddler), to the mental and emotional limits of not having a whole lot left over after all of the caretaking is done. And the nights, days, weeks, months, years of exhaustion can not be underestimated. It takes a hell of a toll on a person.

But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Aside from the highlights of the early years; walking, talking, giggles and discoveries; there is the peace of coming back to yourself as the kids get older and develop into small people with distinct personalities. The break of getting to the point of your child being able to play by themselves, however temporarily. The joy of being old enough to understand the major themes of holidays (loving family, good food, presents). And then there are the moments that make it fun to be a parent. The reason you do it in the first place. The reason that despite all the rough times, you can't imagine having made any other choice.

For me, this year, Halloween has been one of those times. The kids are old enough to show a preference for dress-up and costumes, theatrical displays, and spooky stuff. I have reveled in my Batman and Darth Vader chasing each other through the house, and our own Spongebob and Woody jumping on the trampoline. In addition, and I must say I take a little pride in this; the kids are not scared of anything. In fact, they beg for more. Case in point. Apparently, as I noted in an earlier post, LB complained that the decorations we borrowed from Grandma were not spooky enough. Especially compared to the spooky stuff in our next door neighbors yard. So together, we scoured the local Halloween stores for hanging bats, skulls that light up, pirate skeletons, ghosts and scary old fences.

Several haunted houses and spooky night walks later, we have reached the pinnacle. All Hallows Eve. Mellow day, followed by afternoon haunted house, neighbor Halloween/pre-trick or treating party, trick or treating on our street with Lovely Neighbor, and then trick or treating in Lovely Neighbors new neighborhood, followed by pizza and general mayhem. I have thoroughly enjoyed the Halloween season this year. We have carved pumpkins (three carved, eight all-together), roasted pumpkin seeds (some burned), and gone to community events. Our kids are like us, loving of fun and costumes and scary stuff. And it might be genetic, because OUR parents like Halloween too. We have finally reached the fun point in having children. Despite the hardships, there are times like today when we actually think, maybe this whole child-rearing thing wasn't such a bad idea...

Confession

I have a confession that I feel kind of guilty about. Of course, if I didn't feel guilty about it, it wouldn't be a confession, would it? Here's the thing. I try to live by example. I am not a big activist, I don't write to my senator, or attend rallies. Even when the cause is something I care deeply about. I do vote (though often for the lesser of the evils); I grow some of my own food and buy mostly organic and local; I recycle; I compost; I walk or ride my bike instead of driving when possible; I try to choose a recreational activity with my family instead of paying for an activity when I can, but... A really big but, actually. I am a consumer. More than I would like. I like buying things. Not shopping, really, but things that are easy for me to justify. We go to the library regularly for the kids, but I also buy a ton of books on Amazon for my Kindle because I love to read and finally have the time. M makes me coffee every day, twice a day, but I also sometimes buy coffee when I am out. I usually bring water with me, but I occasionally buy bottles of water, which I hate. We order take-out at least once a week (usually Indian with Lovely Neighbors). I buy Halloween decorations because LB says the ones we borrowed from Grandma aren't spooky or scary enough. I buy Halloween costumes, because they are better than the ones I could make (though I draw the lines at the ones that seem like they are made out of plastic bags). I buy apps for our iPad, mostly educational ones for the kids, but still. I buy music for me and movies to entertain the kids, because I think music is an important way to express yourself and relax, and M and I really like movies and want to share that with the kids. I buy pretty shoes and occasionally expensive jeans, because quality is easier to rationalize than quantity. I like things that are well made and last a long time. And pretty shoes make me happy.I buy books for the kids, because, well, they're books! And having a kid with autism makes somethings easier to buy. The Yogibo (crazy huge beanbag)? It's therapy. The apps and tag reader books? They will help him to read! The Spongebob Halloween costume will help him to imitate, interact and participate! The cool clothes will help him seem more normal, and to be honest, like someone cares about him. I hate seeing folks with special needs who just look like nobody cared enough to buy them clothes that fit. I recognize that I am lucky to live in a country where I have these options, and that I have the money to buy these things. For years, we watched every penny, and saved up for the "important" things. Now, it's a little easier, and I admit, I am enjoying it. I like making my kids happy and to be honest, I like playing with their toys too. Do they have too many? Probably. That's why we do toy and clothes cleansings and give away things we don't need anymore to friends or other people who might be able to use them. I understand that things aren't that important, and if it was all gone tomorrow, I think I'd be fine. I've done without before, and I could do it again. But isn't it okay to do a little of both? To take a walk and collect fall items for the science table at school or go apple picking and make apple crisp, but also to buy tickets to a special show or a much desired toy? I am still trying to balance taking advantage of the opportunities provided where I live now, and remember that we are all happiest playing outside, riding bikes home from school or collecting sticks. I think it's good to continually be seeking balance. Too smooth a ride would be, well, boring.

Little Bunny doesn't know his letters

I really need to start writing down my ideas for blog posts. I think of these great ideas, and ASSUME I will remember them. But then I don't. So I will start with what's on my mind. LB doesn't know his letters very well at all. He knows the letters in his name (of which there are three), and can MAYBE recognize half a dozen more on a good day. Is that normal? It feels like not a lot to me, and I'm not sure how to help him with this. I tend to get really frustrated when teaching him things because his patience is short (like mine) and he gets frustrated and says he quits, and then I snap, and it's done and I just feel guilty. His speech is great, he uses complete and lengthy sentences, is very creative/imaginative and a big story teller. I would say that his use of numbers is only slightly better, in that he can reliably count to ten or eleven, but doesn't have much of an understanding of written/printed numbers. I should obviously talk to his teacher(s) about this, along with my mother (educator/speech therapist), and babysitter (teacher). I can easily get him help, but I'm not sure what is normal for this age (4.5years old). To be honest, this is not something we've focused a whole lot on, so given the chance, he might progress very quickly. It's just that we were playing this Montessori Crossword game on the iPad, and I realized he had very little letter recognition. With Sam being Sam, I'm just never sure what is typical...Sam, of course, has great letter recognition, and needs to work more on the letter/sound connection. He is more at a reading/writing stage, though his number skills need some work (though are improving).

Back Again

The past several weeks have been unusually crazy. I went to OR for my annual girl trip with Aunty B. Then I chaired the scholastic book fair at The Little Person's School. I took The Little Person to the Legofest in Boston, M and I went to a live taping of the radio show Says You in Concord, MA; and M went to Alaska for a week for business. Did I mention we went apple picking? And our good friends from Juneau, came east to look at boarding schools for their son. They are staying at my parents house. I'm sure there is more, but I'm tired from my week of single parenting and being sick.

Other names The Little Person goes by are Little Bunny, Meatball, and Pickle. Let's go with Little Bunny for a while. LB for short. LB and I put up Halloween decorations we borrowed from Grandma on Saturday. LB decided the decorations weren't spooky enough, especially compared to our next door neighbors. So yesterday we went to the Halloween store (a.k.a iparty) and found some spookier stuff. I think we did pretty well. LB has also been getting into Legos. He actually started building things, mostly pirates and ships.

Old friends

This last weekend we had the opportunity to hang out with some college friends. M and I went to school with Mr. H, and he and M lived together and were in the same fraternity. yes, the fact that we were both involved in the Greek system in college is our dirty little secret. mine was even the subject of a skit on Saturday Night Live. Mr. H and his wife were dating when we were in college, and she came to visit often, so we have known her for a long time too. They are actually, of our friends, the only people we know who have been together longer than we have. They came to Alaska on their honeymoon, and spent some time with us. We were able to set up a couple of things for them in Juneau (Glacier trek/ice climbing trip with helicopter comes to mind), but Mrs. H planned most of the trip herself, and did a fantastic job, even from the perspective of someone who lived there.

Anyway, even though they live in NH, and we have been back for over two years now, this is the first time that we have seen each other since we have been back east. They drove 2.5 hours and spent the night at the Farmhouse with their kids. It was one of those situations where it has been a while (probably since Sam's baby naming 7 years ago), and yet it was just the same. At one point, we were making dinner and all in the kitchen, and the kids were running around, and we looked at each other and I said, "This is weird!" But mostly it was weird because it wasn't. And M has reminded me that he and Mr. H saw each other once at Union for a Beer Pong Tourney, but that was through a haze of beer...

The kids got along fantastically. The "little" boys had a sleepover in The Little Person's room, and their daughter is just a really cool kid. They all went sledding down the grassy hill, and whined when it was time too leave, which we thought was a good sign.

It was a good way to end the summer. We spent time with friends, we ran around in VT and hiked and swam; we went to farm and checked out the cows, horses, sheep and chickens, and drove around country roads, "toodling." We got back in time for a leisurely dinner of take-out Indian food, and prep for The Little Person's first day of school. The Whole Day! Eating Lunch At School! Taking The Van Home!

First day of school

Today was Sammy Noodles' first day of school. Well, the first day that all the kids are back, since he went to school all summer. Actually half camp, half school. I don't know how it went because he isn't home yet. He got to meet his new second grade teacher today, Mrs. S. She sent us a lovely email welcoming Sam and asking about anything she could do to make things better or easier for him. I think I will take her up on it, as soon as I catch up on a few things, like blogging.

We spent the last week on Cape Cod. It was really a great vacation. We took the kids to the beach every day (most days they went twice), and we swam in the pool, played outside, and ate lots of seafood. The house was perfect for us, and I like the idea that it is a house and area we can go back to next year.

I wanted to get something off my chest, to share a thought with you. I should start off by telling you that M disagrees with me on this. Every once in a while, someone with kids who is coming to my house will ask me what they should say about Sam to their kids. Now these are nice, good people. Often people I know pretty well. And I find myself feeling, well.....annoyed. I know, it sounds terrible. Wouldn't I rather someone ask than not talk to me (or Sam)? Sure. And I have thought about it a lot to figure out what it is about the question, and the conversation, that bothers me. The truth is, it isn't the concept of asking, it's the vagueness of the question. I think I would mind less if someone asked me a specific question about Sam. Or, if their child asked me a question. That would be even better, I think. But when someone asks me in advance of a visit, or in preparation for a conversation with their kid(s), what to tell them about Sam, I guess I just don't know what to say. And I guess I think it's kind of a dumb question. I apologize in advance for my rudeness, because I know the question is well intentioned, and not asked to make me feel bad, or irritated. But the thing is, I'm not sure it's necessary to talk about Sam's disability in advance of meeting him, if a kid doesn't ask.

That said, my answer would probably be more general than specific. I wouldn't necessarily say to a young kid that Sam had autism, but more likely go along the lines that there are some things that are difficult for him, like talking, and he uses a device (the iPad) to help him communicate. I think part of exposing kids to people's differences is sort of pretending like things aren't a big deal, or they aren't that different from you. Focusing on the similarities. The idea, that all children are kids, just like you, but some may have a special chair to help them walk (and go really fast), or an iPad to help them talk (and tell jokes, play games, watch movies and read books). I know this is simplistic, and may not work for all kids, but I feel like the way to talk about this kind of thing is on a need to know basis. Like when a kid asks a direct question. Does this make any sense? I hope I haven't offended anyone, and I don't know if other parents of kids with special needs, or kids with autism feel like this, but it is how I feel. So if you ask me what to tell you to tell your kid about Sam's autism, I may say I don't know. I'm not in charge of autism PR. I do have a child with autism, and it is a distinct part of my life, but it's just a part. Ask me what he likes to do (swim), or eat (pizza), or whether he understands what we say (yes, mostly, when asked in a direct and simple way), and is he happy (absolutely!). But I am not an expert in autism, and all kids on the spectrum are different. So I can only share my experiences. which I might do, if you are very nice and I'm in the mood.

Mr Ed's Farm

The Little Person

"Orca seals!"

"I used to have two Daddies. Then one grew up and became my Grandpa."

"If little bunny foo foo doesn't listen, then I will turn into a goon."

"No-possums. You got that Mom?"

"Do you know the Barbie cake, Mom? My Grandpa had one of those."

"I'm so cited for camp, Mom."

"How come you say mm hmm all the time Mom?"

These are some examples of things The little Person has said recently. I always say I'm going to write them down, and I even reserved a notebook for the little tidbits. But besides the one time I remembered to write it down, we mostly pass on his Little Person-isms by telling them to the people we think will care. Like The Grandparents, and Babysitter Extraordinaire, and Lovely Neighbor. So, I thought i would share some with you to keep them for posterity. I'd like to think I will keep sharing them, but the reality is probably slim. It's the thought that counts, right?

Both the kids have been really fun lately, but there is a behavior we are trying to curb with The Little Person. Lying. It takes three forms:

1. Lying because he thinks we will be mad that he did or didn't do something.
2. Lying because he thinks what we will do will hurt and he is scared.
3. Telling stories about his "Grandpa." This would be cute except when asked he says he's talking about my grandfather or M's Dad, both of whom have passed away. It's kind of cute in that he imagines a relationship with them. His Grandpa is like an imaginary friend who lets him do anything, and does anything with and buys anything for him. Lot's of it doesn't make a lot of sense literally, but shows a lot of imagination.

Also, there are issues with "being first" and "winning." I'm not sure how to deal with this, though another mom says they frame it in terms of sportsmanship. I also remind him that if he doesn't share/always has to win/be first, other kids aren't going to want to play with him. And the piece de resistance...it's not nice! Works every time.

Did I mention his imaginary friend, Dante?

Birds and farm animals, or Autistic kids LOVE horses.

Last weekend, (God, I sound like The Little Person. Everything to him is last weekend...) M and I took the boys to an open house at Mr. Ed's farm with my Dad (Poppa). Pop and Mr. Ed are friends through their daily visits to Dunkin Donuts, so we knew all about the preparations. We missed it last year, but since we were around, and we had my Dad, we decided to all go, but in two cars, in case someone had to leave quickly with Sam. The Little Person and I and sometime Pop, go semi-frequently to Mr. Ed's farm. He boards horses and dogs, and has some cows and two donkeys. We haven't taken Sam in a while because he is fairly disinterested in farm animals (until recently), and he hates horses in a freaks out and makes loud noises kind of way. But he had done a couple of zoo and farm with petting zoo field trips with school this summer, and seemed to be more interested in animals in general. He already loves birds and enjoys going to see the chickens, turkeys and ducks at The Sheep Pasture. So we went, armed with our get-away plan, not expecting to stay long.

Apparently, Mr. ed is part of the Norfolk County Farmer's Association, and the events were a product of the Association, with participation from the local 4-H and other individuals. It ended up being fantastic. The farm is small, and in the barn that normally acts as a kennel for the dogs, were all the 4-H animals. The boys had a blast, scooting around looking at and touching the animals, as well as feeding them with feed supplied by the 4-H club. We got to pet chickens, a bunny and a baby goat who was still little he fit through the bars of the gate. So it started off well, but then it went beyond our wildest dreams. We went out of the barn to go see other animals, and there was a popcorn machine, hot dogs, and ice cream from the local dairy farm, all free! Popcorn and hot dogs are like food groups to both my kids, so that was a bonus. Mr. Ed even had cowboy hats for all the kids and sheriff's badges. We went back to check out the horses and they were giving rides around the ring. We expected Sam would not be into it, but The Little Person ran right up, and then Sam seemed upset that he couldn't go. Still figuring he wouldn't actually get on a horse, he and I went into the barn to see some of the other horses and he was really into it. So we came back out and he had to WAIT his turn. But he did it, got on the horse like a pro and went around the ring like he's been doing it all of his life, with this zen smile on his face. Later, after hot dogs, popcorn, lemonade and water we came back for round two. Then we made a our getaway, going while everything was still good. After two turns, I guess they were right. Apparently autistic kids do like horses.

This morning, Pop came to take The Little Person for breakfast, which they do every Sunday. My dad would love to take Sam too, but he doesn't really like many breakfast type foods, preferring pizza and spaghetti. But he saw my Dad and started pointing at him and using the iPod to say that he wanted to see farm animals! So while those two were at breakfast, we three headed for the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru for chocolate donuts and then to The Sheep Pasture. Kid was happy as a clam. We even saw ponies and sheep. Since being home, he has been in and out of the pool. He has been calmer since I've been down here with him, but seems to be getting revved up again. He is in his sleeping bag watching Peep and The Big Wide World. Maybe he needs company. Peace out.

Getting old

As I write this Sam is screaming on and off. For no apparent reason. He does this sometimes and it gets to me. Not sure if it's the helpless feeling of him being upset and me not knowing why or how to fix it, or the part of me that feels annoyed and wants him to just stop. So I decided maybe he just wanted someone to hang out with, and I am sitting on the couch downstairs while he is on the computer next to me. Sometimes proximity helps. Both of us.

As an aside, but also the point of this post, I feel as if my body is falling apart. In addition to my intermittent stomach issues (fine today, thanks for asking), I now have gross feet. I think they are plantar warts, and I have had them in some capacity for a while. They did go away at one point, but they are back, and no amount of over the counter medicine, or freezing them, has made much of a difference. And, worse even, is that seem to be spreading. They don't hurt as much as they are unsightly, and I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I touch them. I used to have really nice feet, and now I have the kind of feet that used to gross me out on other people. I even went through a period of time when I couldn't have other people's feet touch me. M has some foot issues that I have wanted him to take care of for a while (he has, with over the counter, but not anything in prescription form), issues that are different from mine, and sadly now, not as bad.

Even my Mom is grossed out by my feet and thinks i should just go to the podiatrist. But, it's not that simple. For one thing, I have a couple that are in places other than the bottom of my feet. One on the top of my foot. And one on my hand. I'm embarrassed to tell you that, because now you may not want to shake my hand when you meet me. It's okay, I'm not much of a hand shaker anyway. So the first problem is that I may have more than one kind. Plantar warts only occur on the bottom of your feet. Which means that the podiatrist couldn't deal with the one on my hand. Plus, the additional locations may be the purview of a dermatologist. Secondly, I think I now have to get referrals for doctors not in the group of my primary. And my primary is in Boston, and I don't feel like going for an appointment in Boston, just to get a referral to someone else, since I have already gone to her for multiple fruitless freezings. Also, I haven't been to her for a while, so I'm not sure if she would give me a referral without seeing her now. And it would mean possibly going to two different doctors. I feel exhausted just talking about it. And it's just for my feet! well, mostly. I could try to go to someone in the group, but the ones that are either close by or recommended (by Mom and Babysitter Extraordinaire) are not in the group. So it would be going to someone I didn't know and didn't have any information about.So, I haven't gone and I haven't called. I might just swing by the podiatrist by my gym and self pay. It's sooooo convenient, and more likely to happen sooner.

Plus, I feel like if I deal with my feet, I shouldn't ignore my stomach. And that would be another appointment. In Boston. And switching my gastroenterologist is not an option. I like her and I'm comfortable. I could email her, but she'll tell me to come in. maybe it will all just go away.

And then, there are the kids. They are up to date on their shots and yearly physicals, but there are some appointments with specialists I have been considering. And they both probably need dentist appointments. Maybe after school starts I'll be able to deal.

On another note

Before I go, I just want to mention that I have been thinking about shoes. A lot. More later.

On my mind

The other day I did some shopping at some yoga style clothing stores and though I found some things, I was not happy with the sizes I fit into. My body image is a complicated thing that I'm not really comfortable with. I want to be thin and athletic, but I think women should be comfortable with what they look like. I don't want to be obsessed with food, but I don't want to be fat. It disturbs me that my views are somewhat contradictory. I know I could be more fit if I made some sacrifices, but i'm not sure if I don't take that extra step because I am healthy (mentally and physically) or just lazy and deluded. I struggle between wanting women (including myself) to be comfortable with their bodies and not obsessed with weight/food and my concern over the growing amount of extremely overweight people and wonder whether I should be more comfortable with what I look at or whether I need to do something about it.

Sometimes in the morning, when I get up with Sam, and it's really early, I actually pray that he will go back to sleep. And I never pray, so it seems either hypocritical or pathetic. And since it's not something I believe in, I don't think it's going to work. But I do it anyway. I have never told anyone that.

I have ulcerative colitis, which I was diagnosed with after The Little Person was born. Somehow I never recovered from just giving birth, and just got sicker, ending with a sixteen day stint in the hospital. It was kind of rocky for a while, but I have been fairly healthy since we have moved back east. I occasionally get flare ups, and I no longer try to run outside (no bathrooms), but for the most part I am symptom free. Or at least I was until a few weeks ago. I am still not even close to the state that put me in the hospital, but it has screwed up my plans a little lately. Even after I cut out coffee. Carbs are my friend right now, and I always have a stash of graham crackers or saltines. I haven't had peanut butter in a while, and I just started to phase coffee back in. Absolutely no dairy, red meat, beans, or tofu. I don't mind that part really, but I am a little pissed off at having to ditch out half way on a kayaking trip; making an emergency dash into the CVS bathroom; ditching into the woods at Walden Pond and in Nantucket; as well as planning a walk with my neighbor to go past my parents' house, in case I had to go to the bathroom (I did). I even had to cut out part way through a work out last week. Oh, did I mention I can't eat most granola bars? I upped my meds and altered my diet. The best solution I have found is to stop eating for a while. So it's not really a good time for me to increase my exercise or limit my carbs.

I have some things to say about The Little Person, as well as Sammy Noodles and our house, but it's close to bedtime and small people want my attention and the Tiger Balm on my neck feels weird.

I'm just sayin...

So Close

So yesterday, Sam got up at 6:30, instead of 4AM. It was awesome. Then today, back to 4. The weird part is, his teacher Mrs. H said he was tired and lethargic yesterday, but great today. I don't know. The Chronic Fatigue is mostly gone, and I'm back to my normal tired. It has also been really humid. Hot is one thing, but the humidity has been hard for us former Alaskans.

The Little Person and I had a disagreement yesterday and he told me that I, "broke his heart." I was so mad and then I totally melted when he said that and felt guilty. So we kissed and made up.

We spent the weekend in VT and Sam literally spent the weekend slathered in mud in the pond. He was happy as a clam, and it was fine with me, until we had to go inside...There were many baths! The Little Person spent the weekend in his new boots, wraparound sunglasses and (old) baseball hat. Pretty damn cute and I'm not biased at all. Unfortunately, no pictures. I know, we suck.

Oh, the other weird thing that happened was continued evidence that Sam can read. We were ordering lunch (actually, I think we had just started talking about it), and Sam went and got the menu, quickly scanned it, and started pointing to hotdog. No pictures, just words. I'm just saying.

Why play Rummy Kube when I can just critique others?

Sam was in hog heaven, literally, today. Swimming in the mud in the pond in VT. He soaked his clothing 3-4 times that I know of, and yet it never occurred to any of us to put a bathing suit on him.

Babysitter Extraordinaire and I took The Little Person to the science museum in Montshire. Unfortunately the on ramp to 91 was closed, so it took us an extra fifteen minutes to get there. We had such a great time that we decided to try out one of their short trails and. ended up at the water activities outside at the back of the museum. The Little Person got soaking wet, had a meltdown and was only mildly assuaged by the water BE got by buying juice, chugging half, emptying it and filling it with water.

I made a decent tikka masala for dinner with chicken, and opted out of round three of Rummy Kube. I will be up at four tomorrow and I want to be ready!
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School Lunch

Preparing school aged children's lunches has got to b one of the most thankless jobs on the planet. Aside from the fact that kids have less developed taste buds; kids are notoriously picky. What they like one week or one day for that matter, they probably won't like at another point. There's the fact that most lunches cannot be heated or refrigerated, and the waste from what is not eaten. Plus, what about they buy at school to eat? Then there are the allergies both for your child and the children they interact with. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but sometimes what my kids eat for lunch doesn't lend itself to being packed up for school.

This summer I will need to pack two lunches every day that my children may or may not eat. That their teachers or grownups in charge will see and tell me whether they ate or not. They say they don't judge but, I know they are wondering why I send the soup when clearly child number one or two won't eat it.

These are the things I think about. Believe it....or not.
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Here's the Story, of a Girl Named Ami

So, here's my question about blogging. If I haven't blogged in a while, am I obligated to catch you all up with every detail that has happened since we last spoke? Because frankly, I don't remember most of it. Certainly not the tasty little tidbits you come here for. If I was forced (by my own self) to recount the last seven days, I fear I'd only remember the obvious facts, rather than the nuances that make a great story.

I promise to recommit myself to you, dear readers, if you give me another chance. I'll try not to have it go on this long again.

The good news is that Sam is getting an iPad for school. That is a huge relief. I still feel behind on doing daily one-on-one work with Sam, so I need to get on that. He continues to get up at an absurd hour, one that I will not repeat, since I will be visiting it in about six hours. Through The Little Person, we've made friends that I hope enjoy us as much as we do them. I feel struck by my recent realization that Sam is moving ahead in grade levels he surely hasn't passed. I'm still trying to come to terms with that.

I've found Sam a new swimming instructor, who will teach him at her home pool. We are crossing our fingers that this works out. The Little Person is going to learn from her as well. I'm cautiously optimistic...

We are working on some potential house renovations. Trying to alleviate some small problems, and also to stay in our house during construction. For Sam. Moving out would be really stressful for me as far as keeping an eye on Sam. Our house is such a safe haven for us with him. I don't think I'd realized that until just now. Have a few nice trips planned for the next several months. Without children. Taking advantage of the opportunity to connect with close friends from Juneau and high school (me).

The Little Person and I (and Gram today) have been going to the beach at the lake. I have really enjoyed it. It's a cool option to have nearby. I am looking forward to taking Sam. I think I will bring buddy, to be helpful with Sam (or The Little Person). Vegetable garden is coming along. More planting to do!

The thing that has taken up a lot of our time, at least our thinking time, is discussion about renovating our house. We would like to give the outside character as well as curb appeal and renovate two of the bathrooms. What we do is spend lots of time driving around and discussing what we like, or looking up pictures on the internet. Or drawing pictures (M, not me) to explain our ideas.

That's all I got. For now.

The Newest Member of Our Family

The Cecils have been busy watching frog TV. Max the frog is the newest member of our family. He has his own tank, picked out by The Little Person, along with a live plant, blue rocks, and a Spongebob figurine. The bet in our house is how long we can go before we have to buy a new frog...The kids are very happy to sit and watch Max, and it's killing them not to feed him constantly and tap on the glass. So right now he is on the kitchen table so they can be supervised and M and I can frog-sit.

Sam had a great day at school today. He even got up in the 5 o'clock hour, for a change. He is doing a little of the crazy laugh, otherwise known as inappropriate laughing. I know it sounds like a small thing, but he keeps coming over and hysterically laughing at Max the frog, very loud, in my ear, and it's driving me a little nuts. I can hear him laughing in the basement right now...

It's nice to have a weekend at home, and we are not going anywhere, but it's also a weekend largely without childcare. Fortunately, Babysitter Extraordinaire is coming to save us on Sunday night. Also, I am feeling TONS better, and a lot less exhausted since I started taking my medicine at night. Now I can stop Googling Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I even managed to call a contractor to set up a meet and greet for our potential house renovation. Looking for a low-key, if not relaxing weekend of house/yard chores, and frog TV (and a little yoga...). We finally planted our vegetable garden, and it makes me happy to look at our little seedlings. Still working on security measures so that little creatures don't enjoy our strawberries before we do!

Next week, we meet with Sam's team to discuss the school purchasing an iPad for him. I am also exploring after school activities for him. I would like to find a good swimming situation for him again, and I have a wild idea about finding him a music teacher. On my longer term list is calling back the Dr. at the sleep clinic, but since I can't wrap my head around him having a sleep study, I have been procrastinating.

I have been too tired and as a result overwhelmed to even think about most of the things on my to do list, but now that I'm BACk, maybe I'll be able to take care of a few things. I am feeling guilty about not having done computer work with Sam after school in a while. Also, i need to find him a developmental pediatrician, and consider an eye exam. And did I mention he will need a spacer in his mouth since one of the teeth he got pulled won't come in for several years?

The Cecil Diet is going swimmingly. I haven't lost much weight, but I feel less squishy, if that makes any sense. I may have to cut out my current daily cheat-the chai tea latte one-cuppers that M bought me by accident instead of plain chai tea, and now I love first thing in the morning...

Working on a couple of mini-vacations, which give me something to daydream about at the crack of dawn, when I am up with Sam. I feel so lucky to be in a place with the kids and our life that I can even consider that. Reminds me of how far we've come and how many people we have to thank.

The Farm, The Walk, The Birthday, The Moms

Last time on Sammy Noodles...

Okay, so Tangerini Spring Street Farm was awesome. Besides the name. We even met Mr. and Mrs. Tangerini, the farmers. We picked greens, fed goats, played in the sandbox, hid in the hay maze and had ice cream. We also made some new friends, besides the barn cat. It was a beautiful setting, and a great way to wile away a Thursday afternoon. They even have farm shares just for flowers! I may have to get me one of those.

The NECC (New England Center for Children) 5K Walk/Run was Saturday morning. We split up the family, so M could take The Little Person to his soccer game with Grammy, and Babysitter Extraordinaire and I (she even drives my car!) could take Sam to the walk. Small flaw in the plan. The Weather From Hell. The Little Person arrived at his game, got on the field, the thunder started, and his coach promptly got them off and the game was cancelled. At first he was the only person who moved and responded to the thunder and lightening (M said everyone else kinda stood there and continued playing for a few minutes).

Sam and I picked up Babysitter Extraordinaire, she got in the driver's seat, and we drove to the venue. After we got there, we spent some time milling around in a building filled with other participants, none from our team, chasing Sam. Then we found the team, took a team picture, and they cancelled the walk. So we tried to register/get our bags of stuff, but the waiting was hard. Someone from Sam's school said they would collect everyone's bags, so we took off! We stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get Sam a chocolate glazed donut and put on a movie for him (god bless the DVD player in the headrests I got for my birthday). Then we dropped off BE, and Sam and I drove home to prepare for the party. After being up since 4 and driving around for 3 hours, I was pretty tired, so I barked out some crabby comments and then my family was happy for me to take a nap.

The party was GREAT! We waited till 4PM to make the call on the bouncy house because the weather was so iffy. We decided to go for it, and it was well worth it, even though we did have to unplug it a couple of times when the rain started. It turned out to be a really good mix of people, and I'm pretty sure everyone made some new friends. The food turned out well (thank you, Bob), and the Spiderman cake was AWESOME! No fighting or crying from the kids, and every adult seemed engaged in conversation with somebody else. We realized that this was our first real party since living here, and I think I would do it again. Sam loved blowing out his candles, and even got some alone time in the bouncy house. The only problem was that there was no official present opening, and the presents got opened and played with throughout the night, so we have no idea what was from who!

The next day, Mom, MIL and got massages and went for a nice lunch. I think everyone had a nice day. The MIL said it was the best massage she's ever had! The Mom wanted to stay all day and get more treatments! But we moved on to the lunch spot, found a great spot to have coffee, and then wandered next door for lunch. I had a lobster risotto which I ate every bite of. It was not heavy like I expected, and had wonderful peas in it. The pomegranate mimosa may have helped...We did a little shopping/wandering around and then took the long way home. I arrived to a beautiful pot of hydrangeas from my family. I was inspired by the 5 huge sweet potatoes we had, so I volunteered to make sweet potato enchiladas for dinner. A few games of Rummy Kube later and we called it a night. All's well that ends well.

Oh, a P.S. The boys made me really great presents for Mother's Day. It was really special to unwrap their gifts and read there homemade cards. I think it was my best Mother's Day ever!

With New Eyes

My goal for this week is to observe and appreciate The Little Person. Sure, he does a lot of things that drive me nuts, but he is beautiful and funny and Little. Still little. And I want to enjoy him while I can. While he still wants to be with me. I feel like I spend so much of my time yelling at him lately, and instead I am trying to have empathy. To snuggle a little extra, smile instead of getting mad, and be on his side a little more. So far, it's working.

Today we are going to Tangerini's Farm, in Millis. Friends of ours have a share as part of a CSA program, and gave it to us while they are on vacation this week. I don't think there is a whole lot growing yet, but I think it will be fun to go see the farm and the plants and animals. Plus, they have ice-cream.

Personally, I am exhausted. I feel like a broken record about the tired thing, but there we are. My mini goal for the day is to squeeze in a rest period. Maybe it is something beyond getting up at 4 that is making me so low energy. I think I will consider that...after a nap.

Sam took his iPad to school today to try it out in that venue. M took off all of the fun apps, so we'll see how that goes. So far, I'm going with no news is good news. This weekend is the 5K fundraising walk for the school that partners with Sam's program in our town. I haven't done a very good job fundraising, mainly because I hate to do it. It's still on my list, so maybe I'll get some sort of request/plea out tonight. Then on Saturday night we have Sam's birthday party. I am actually looking forward to it. I hope he enjoys it.

Thing One And Thing Two

Let's see, it has been a while. I had a post started, but now it seems to dated and tangential. I meant to post half a dozen times, but things kept happening. Not important things, just things. Make sense?

Sam has been good overall i guess, but weirdly into things. M's shaving cream. The matches. The pump soap. The knives (he actually is a good cutter). So there is that. And, recovering our schedule and structure post vacation. There has been more TV watching and more snacking then I would like. And he and I haven't done as much computer work lately as we had been prior to our trip. But I'm too tired to protest or put in the extra effort to change the situation. I don't know if it's his early wakings, or something in my own body, but I have been fairly low energy lately. Also, I seem not to have a lot of patience. And I feel frustrated at not keeping up on this blog, and generally being behind on my own stuff. And yet, I'm too tired to do much about it. At least not cheerfully.

That said, we had a great weekend in Vermont. It was fairly warm and humid, and so we spent a lot of time outside, running around, hiking and playing. Sam spent some time in the muddy pond, and there were some water squirters involved in the festivities. We even went to lunch at The Long Trail Brewery, on a particularly nice day. The kids did okay, but I remember feeling stressed and annoyed. We also got to have a nice dinner out at the home of some Alaskan friends now living east. Plus, there were a couple of additional Alaskan folks we hadn't seen since we've been back. So it was a very nice, comfortable evening with old friends. Then we arrived back to get the evening report from my MIL. Apparently there was some shaving cream shenanigans from both children, and they made a huge mess.

We went to the Aquatic center in White River Junction, Vermont on the way home yesterday. We purposely went on a weekday, and it was fairly empty. Which was perfect for us. the kids had a ball, and we enjoyed ourselves too. They had a water slide, a splash park/water playground area, and a lazy river (my favorite). The price was reasonable, and the staff couldn't have been nicer or more accommodating as we tried to prevent Sam from running, or going down the water slide head first. After the kids were exhausted, we left, bribing them with the lure of french fries. Amazingly, we didn't hit traffic, even leaving the Aquatic center after 3PM.

We came home and had a BBQ with my parents. They got all the food, and M just had to grill. I had just had it with the kids by this point, but the cherry on top was when we went to put the kids to bed, and take a walk while my Mom stayed at the house. M went to start the process, and found The Little Person in the bathroom, on the toilet. Great. Not so great was the poop on the floor. Apparently, he somehow didn't make it, squatted on the floor, and then got on the toilet. And got it on the shower curtain, his pants and other things I won't mention. M was in the think of it and didn't want me to come in and help, so I didn't. When we were finally walking later, I said that I was sorry he'd had to deal with that. he said it was fine. I said, "No, I'm really sorry, that sucked."

My loving husband looked at me and said, "I just felt bad for you." Confused, I asked why. M replied, " Because all I could think (while it was happening) was how I never want to have a dog again. Because that's what it reminded me of. Having to clean dog poop off the rug. And I feel bad for you, because I know how much you want one." And I was quiet. I knew I was supposed to feel sympathy for M having to deal with the whole encounter. But instead, I was pissed at the loving husband and the evil child for ruining my puppy dreams.

Day One

Actually, tomorrow will be the first full day of The Cecil Diet since we didn't do any exercise today other than walking through COSTCO and chasing children (partly on a bike). My theory, is that if we do it together, it will help with our commitment and the success of our project. Of course, we have different goals. My goal is to feel happy, both physically, and when I look in the mirror. M's goal is to get in shape and lower his cholesterol, which was alarmingly high at his recent physical.

Most of it we already do, sort of, most of the time. It's getting that to doing all of it, really, more than most of the time. M must decide whether to kick his Arnold Palmer (ice-tea/lemonade combo) and twice a day mocha habit. I need to cut out (again), the sugar in my coffee, the sugar (period!), and maintain portion control. I eat well for the most part and exercise 2-3 times per week, but I would like to eat better and exercise (even if it's a walk) every day. I will be working out 3x/week with Mer, and when we are home on weekends, going to a yoga class. I feel like I look okay (mostly), but I would like to feel more comfortable in bathing suits and the like. Not to mention when I am sitting or bent over and everything feels all crushed together.

Why tell you this, you ask?

Because, in my experience, telling people something makes it more real. And the more people you tell, the more of a commitment. At least, that's my plan. I have done it before, so I know I can do this. I am not that far off actually, I just need a little kick in the ass. I am starting to slide into feeling a little more comfortable at a bigger size, which is a slippery slope. I'm in decent shape overall, and I think if I were a little thinner I would be able to do even more physically and would be able to see more of the results of my effort. Right now, I am mainly developing muscle, which is great, but I need to either exercise more and or eat less/differently if I want to see a significant change.

In other news, we are busy readjusting to life after vacation. The kids did AMAZING on the plane ride home. Best ever. It was a really fun trip, and we did a lot more than we have in the past. We went to the Palm Springs Aerial Tram, The Living Dessert, The Children's Discovery Museum of palm Desert, Joshua Tree, the big pool, and a hike in our favorite local place. We even all went out to lunch at an old school deli. It was busy, but we definitely got some chill time, alone and as a family. There were golf cart rides, neighborhood walks, and even some naps! I can't wait to go back.

We are busy planning Sam's 7th birthday festivities. There will be some mellow stuff on his Birth Day (this Wednesday) and a trip to an indoor water park in White River Junction, VT, as well as a proper party, complete with bouncy house in the backyard, pizza and a cool cake.

It is one of those weeks where we have SOMETHING, almost every day. The Little Person has a hearing evaluation tomorrow (because at first I was annoyed and then concerned at what I hope is just a four year old not paying attention to me and asking me "What did you just say?" every five minutes); Sam has a dentist appointment and his seven year physical; there are the Birthday Festivities and probably a home visit with Sam's teachers. Oh, and there is Mer, kicking my ass at the gym three times this week, and M has a chiropractor appointment tomorrow.

We in the process of are planning a house renovation to expand the master bathroom, change the look of the house and redo the deck (because it is falling apart). My job is to start calling folks to discuss design ideas and get appropriate referrals. I sense we will need an architect as well as contractor, but that still needs to be determined. As an aside, M is looking into applying to the show This Old House to help us in this endeavor. We are not looking to save money so much as we feel like those guys are experts who do a great job, are from our area, and have access to fantastic resources. Saving money and adding some "green features," would be a bonus.

Also, the vegetable garden needs to be planted, and we need to pick out some perennials, bushes and a tree or two for the front yard. Going to the nursery for flowers and plants in the spring is sort of a Mother's Day tradition for my Dad and I that started when Sam is born. It always makes me happy. When the Sam was a baby, and we lived in Alaska, my dad would go to the nursery there and pick stuff out for me, and plant it. Now that I am in a better place, I enjoy going with him. Sometimes we get crazy and bring The Little Person.

That weekend, Sam and I are doing the NECC walk, which is an fundraising walk that benefits the New England Center for Children, which coordinates with our town to run Sam's program (for kids with autism spectrum disorders) in the public school. I did it alone last year, to scope it out, and I think Sam can handle it. Of course, I am bringing Babysitter Extraordinaire for help and moral support as well as good conversation. We will be on a team from our town, comprised of families, staff at the program, and friends. That's also the same day as Sam's birthday party. The other half of our family will come out for the walk if they can make it after soccer practice. It is a lot, considering The Little Person has another birthday party that day, and Mother's Day is the day after, but it was the best way to get all of our parents there. My plan on Mother's Day is to ditch my family and hang out with both the Mom's for the day. I imagine there will be some shopping and a good lunch involved. Maybe a spa treatment if I am lucky.

As The Little Person Says, "Is that it?" And the answer is YES. For now.

Before I Go Gently Into That Goodnight

Actually, he thing I'm proudest or most amazed about, is that I am up at 10PM. the first night I fell asleep by 8, and the last two nights I may have made it until 9 or 9:30. Tonight I even watched T.V. Of course, all the shows I like are on the same night at the same times. So we switch back and forth between American Idol, Biggest Loser and Glee. Lost, we will just watch another time.

The big news here is, well there isn't a whole lot. Sam made it to 7:30 tonight without falling asleep and needing to be carried to bed or napping in the afternoon (or morning, the first day). (Sam's) Puppy got left up at the top of the Palm Springs Aerial Tram and had to be ferried down. I made lemonade from real lemons. Today we went to Joshua Tree and the kids had a great time climbing around on the rocks. The Little Person is very busy finding things to spray with his "water squirter." Mostly ants, I'm afraid. Poor things.

It is fairly windy here right now, but still not cold, which seems weird to me. It actually feels great outside, aside from the sound. M and I are fairly well rested, since my parents have gotten up with the kids for the last 3 days. We are midway through the trip and there are still so many things to do. Part of me wants to do all the fun activities, and the other just wants to hole away and read my books and magazines. It's like at night, when I want to stay up and play games and be social, but the idea of hanging out by myself and reading sounds more appealing. I'm torn, but not really.

Sam is doing okay. He's definitely having fun, but being out of his routine is definitely affecting him. Less choosing to communicate with the three thousand technological devices we brought, and more whining and crying or just getting in to stuff. Like the soap dispenser at the kitchen sink. Now we have no more. He even tried to wash the lemons he picked from the yard with dish soap.

The Little Person got stung by a bee yesterday. Fortunately he is not allergic. The Ranger at

J-Tree today gave the kids some junior ranger booklets and The Little Person took his with him when we climbed around, and tried to identify all the animals form the booklet. Pretty damn cute. Pop and I took him for a walk before bed and the kid asked questions THE WHOLE TIME. Bless his heart, my Dad's only comment was, "He asks a lot of good questions!" Yes, and we know who he inherited that bit of curiosity from!

Swimming at the big pool was a little overwhelming, so we have ben sticking to the water feature in the backyard and activities within an hour or so from the house, since the kids are good in the car. It's kind of tiring, but kind of fun to try some new things. We found a dinosaur museum, so we may check that out. Also, M and I saw one of the bigger spiders I have ever seen on a walk one night. It wasn't just big, but thick, if you know what I mean. And the lizards we saw at the bottom of the tram were small but had kind of thick slick middles that made them resemble rats. Lizard rats. Between that and the rattlesnakes we didn't do too much exploring when we hit the bottom.

I think I'm starting to feel restored. Maybe I'l be able to stay up late enough for a date night before we go...

Sunny Shine and Grandparents

So, the trip was long. And t started when we woke up at 3:30AM and got picked up for he airport at 4AM. Getting through security and on the plane was fine. We are pretty adept at pulling the autism card at security and going to the front of the line, which is good, because the line was long and the two minutes we had to wait were tough for Sam. Then we sat on the tarmac for a while due to some computer malfunction. The kids were great on the first flight. Then we had a three plus hour layover in L.A.That was hard. But the last flight was short and easy and we made it. One thing that has proven difficult in the past is waiting for the bags with the kids and getting the rental car. So we have come up with a solution that works pretty well. The Palm Springs airport is small and is partially outside in the middle. And there's a park. So M goes to take care of bags and car and I go to the park. That was all fine until The Little Person got sand in his eyes. How you ask? I don't know. Is that wrong?

After I washed the sand out by splashing water in his face, M called and said he couldn't get a cart. First he didn't have change and then the machine didn't work. So we walked with the kids and the four bags out to the rental car. AWESOME. I may or may not have dragged a bag or two. Once we are in the car, we're golden. Except The Little Person usually cries. The whole way to Grandma's house. But not this time. He did TALK the whole way, but that's another story. So the kids did well; they both carried their own backpacks, and the Little Person didn't cry. Sam fell asleep a little before 6PM, and at first the plan was to wake him up at 7 and keep him up for a few hours before putting him to bed. But nobody had the heart to wake him, so M finally carried him off to bed and put him out of his misery. Then he slept till 12:30AM, 2:30, 3:30 and 4. Finally Grandma came to my rescue and we slept till 7! Lazy day with playing in the backyard and going to the big pool. Sam took a nap before lunchtime, so he should be good to go tonight. Afternoon rest/movie for the kids and reading a book in the casita time for Mommy. And golf cart rides for all!

Sam refuses to put on shorts other than his bathing suit, but I will try to get a good picture of him to upload, hopefully with a good view of his missing teeth.

I am just about caught up on trashy magazines. I found out that Oprah was gay and Tori Spelling is anorexic. Go figure!

How far We Have Come

This may not mean a lot to most people, but Sam just let me use the computer downstairs. he did not whine and cry, or stand absurdly close. He sat quietly on the couch and watched Shrek. I didn't even realize I was doing it at first, I just absentmindedly opened the browser while using the desk phone to order Thai food. But then I looked over and saw Sam, and realized how different our life is then when we arrived in Massachusetts almost two years ago now.

We no longer watch TV non-stop. We no longer have iCarly/Nickelodeon on 24/7. When Sam wants something, he asks nicely. When he cries, it is because he is sad, and he accepts comfort from us. We can set limits. Due to the fact that his "behaviors" at school are virtually nil, he is accomplishing a lot of work. He takes his turn with toys at home. He shares with Max. He almost seems more mature than his little brother for the first time.

And yet he is still Sam. Still getting up at 4 (though we have had some 5 and 5:30 days recently), still having spaghetti or pizza for breakfast, still finding the key and sneaking into the pantry for off limits candy. Still the best smile in the world. Still more of a head nuzzler than a hugger (though he has surprised me a few times recently with real hugs). Still peeing all over the toilet seat. I have always said that if h elistened, if his behavior was under control, than I didn't care about the other stuff. And it's true. I am more relaxed with him than I have ever been. I even, dare I say, enjoy him! I will do everything I can to make life easier for him and to help him be as successful as possible, but as long as he is happy and trying his best, I am more than satisfied. Ask Mrs. H, his teacher, he is a very hard working little guy.

Oh, and this is super cute. Apparently, he is having a social interaction with a friend on the school van. And they both love it. I think this is the first year since his first birthday that I have looked forward to celebrating. I still don't know exactly what toy he would want (though I am a pretty good guesser), and I'm not sure exactly how much he will anticipate his birthday, but I am confident that that gorgeous smile will be in attendance when we bring out the flaming birthday cake! Seven candles! I am starting to feel less like a victim and more like a survivor. We are not over autism, but it no longer defines us.

Tomorrow the cab is picking us up at 4AM for the airport (which, as I told Lovely Neighbor, is early, even for us!). I think I will have a small amount of anxiety at least until we are safely settled on the first flight, and maybe till we get into the rental car and drive to The Grandparents. But I know we will have a great trip.

Another Day, Another Dollar

This is just a short post to say Sam's Speech Therapy appointment at Children's went great (apart from the fact that I didn't have to go. Gotta love that husband). Apparently he did a ton of work, and when he started to lose it and requested an edible, Mrs. H told him that he needed to do work first. So apparently, he looked at the Speech Therapist, and nudged her, like "Let's get this show on the road, lady!"

Uber (does that mean "Super?") tired today. Twas my day to sleep, but M had a physical (his first real physical since I've known him) at 6:15AM. With fasting lab work. However, considering his Dad had a fatal heart attack almost two years ago, and was in good health/shape, this is a good thing. They even gave him an EEG. turns out, his heart didn't concern the doctor nearly as much as his cholesterol! Since he already eats well, it may require medication. He needs to go back in six weeks for a re-test. The Little Person and I went to lunch at Friendly's. My stomach was not thrilled with the chicken strips basket and fries I ate. But, I thought it better than just going for the Reece's Pieces Sundae. Alas while M was taking Sam and Mrs. H to speech I was watering the plants at my parents house. The downstairs watering went well (minor spillage), but the upstairs was fraught with problems. Apparently I watered a little more than was necessary, and it took A LONG TIME for it to stop dripping out of the dish. So, by the time I walked home and had breakfast, it was almost time to get The Little Person. The cleaning people were working their magic, so we couldn't go home. I voted for Be Good followed by J.P. Licks, but I was overruled by a small hot dog lover.

Later on, I did have an awesome power nap, followed by some power multi-tasking. I sent out the invites (okay, evites) for Sam's birthday party, and got through the majority of things on my list before we leave Saturday (so early it's almost like leaving Friday) for California. Of course, my new potential bathing suits with the board shorts have not arrived, and it's too late to schedule a waxing.

Also, my evening was made better by the case of wine that Luke sent from Oregon. I contacted him as soon as I heard you could now ship alcohol to Massachusetts. It's as good as I remember. I think M may have put the kids to bed while I was writing this, which means I can now go in the living room and say innocently, "Where are the kids?"

Post Christmas Letdown

Not sure if I can post to the blog outside here in my adirondack chair, but I can certainly type and post later. It is a little cool though in the shade, which is the only place I can see to write. I have taken off my sun hat and sunglasses, and am taking advantage of a few moments of peace. I am writing because I am not feeling motivated to do much else.

Sam threw up on the van this morning (I think as he was getting off), so M went to pick him up around 9ish after he dropped off The Little Person. I cancelled my workout plans (sorry Mer), to stay home with the boy while M went to go look at a house we were considering for living or for an investment. The house is almost 300 years old, on over 2 acres, in our town, and appeared to be a screaming deal. It has only been on the market a few days, and we heard about it from The Lovely Neighbors. Did I mention it has a pool? Anyway, M left, and Sam (fine except for a fever) hung out for a few minutes and then went to pick up The Little Person from school. Then we went over to the house to meet M, so I could take a look.

To make a long story short, I don't think we will be buying it. It is certainly a unique old house, and has a lot of the features that are in our ideal vision of a house. And it's pretty close to our current house. The thing is, I wasn't wowed. The house needs a lot of work, both inside and out to make it as amazing as it could be. And even though we have the time, and are financially in a situation to make it happen, I'm not sure I want to. First of all, I am very happy with where I am. The house we live in is not architecturally unique, and it doesn't have a lot of land, but it is in good condition, it has a nice fenced in yard and good security for Sam inside the house. Plus it has a finished basement and I like the kitchen. And I really like the neighborhood. The other house is more isolated, and it is not move in ready (at least for our family with our particular needs). As an investment, it is not likely to bring a huge profit even in tip top shape, and the idea of fixing it up doesn't get me all excited like you would want before a big renovation.

The thing is, even though I didn't really want it, and it made me realize that I'm happy where I am, I feel that sort of post-Christmas let down you get after you open all of the presents, or the day after Christmas. I think I got all excited about the Possibility of Change. Now I have to rev myself up for doing things to the house we live in, to make it even better for the long term. I just think it's funny that I'm sort of depressed about not buying a house I wasn't even looking for.

Safe At Home

I just wandered around the house for 15 minutes looking for my coffee, if that is any indication of things around here. It was so hot last night that I couldn't sleep, so about 12:30AM I went down to the basement where it was much cooler. I think I dozed for a while, but then something woke me, and I couldn't stop thinking of Sam's impending oral surgery. I watched TV for a while, and then Sam woke up at 4. At 5 I let Sam out and M got up while I went back to bed until 8. Sam was NPO (nothing to eat or drink) after midnight Wednesday, so we emptied the snack drawer and hid the hot dogs in the pantry under lock and key. Babysitter Extraordinaire (BE) had made a couple of batches of jello for Sam, so he ate some of that along with some watered down apple juice. We didn't send Sam to school today, so after The Little Person went to school we three just hung out for a while and got our stuff together.

The worst part was the wait, we had to wait in various places for about an hour and a half at the hospital. Also, parking was free, which would have been great if there had been any. Sam looked really cute in the hospital gown, and Matt and I wore gowns over our clothes so we could go in with him while they sedated him. Aside from being asked the EXACT same questions at least 5 times, the staff couldn't have been nicer or more accommodating. Once they started the sedation (a tube they wave in the vicinity of your mouth), it was only a minute or two before he was out. Then they put the mask on and voila! We were told it would be over an hour, and they don't want you to eat in the waiting room (because of the kids who can't eat before surgery), so we went down to the cafeteria and ended up at an outside table and chairs. We wiled away an hour playing on our laptop and blackberries and sharing some french fries and then headed back. As we sat down in the waiting room someone was coming to get us to let us know Sam was awake!

This was the worst part. When we got there he was struggling and crying against the tubes and wires and bandages, and there was dried blood on his face by his nose. He was also missing his two front teeth! In total he had three teeth pulled (the two front and a molar) and one cavity filled. They also put a sealant on all of his teeth. He was very agitated and after they had checked his vitals and given him some apple juice they said we could take him home. M went to get the car, and I waited with the struggling child. Then we walked him (I ended up carrying him) to the car and entrance where M was waiting. Once he got in the car, he was fine, totally calm, if not a little confused. He passed out soon after and slept most of the way home. At home he got on the couch with a blanket and relaxed to Spongebob. He and I snuggled for a while, and M went to pick up The Little Person from the babysitters.

That was about 2 hours ago, and he's already been outside since then and is now swinging in the basement and playing on the computer. Ah, the healing of a little boy! Unfortunately, he can't eat whatever he wants yet (clear liquids till dinner, and then chicken noodle soup, and soft solids tomorrow) and can't go to school tomorrow, but other than that, (and us being tired from a combination of early wake-up and anxiety over the unknown) we are doing great and the worst is definitely over. The Small People are both coughing intermittently and due to parental exhaustion I think the TV will be on for a while to ease the parenting duties. Hopefully, Sam will sleep well and easy tonight. One can always dream...

Super Kid

Sam's first professional haircut! YAY Sammy!!

After which he went to the toy store and chose a Jack In The Box.